Gonzo TV Ads...

So, Holiday Inn Express has a great new TV ad. Wait, did I say great? I meant grating. I have no idea how, in this economy, this budget hotel chain could approve this new ad. It makes NO sense, it's not funny and it basically is a few million dollars (in ad time creative, ad buy, etc.) to try and be funny (it's not) in telling you that Holiday Inn offers the same crappy breakfast of runny eggs, greasy sausage, stale bread and warm milk that other chains do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_ikHLfaFHo

Just call it "It."

OK so the thing that was a girl but had both sex organs and turned itself into a guy is "pregnant" again.

Remember that old Blur song?

Girls who want boys /

Who like boys to be girls /

Who do boys like they're girls /

Who do girls like they're boys...

First of all, let's please stop calling it "him."  Just call it "It."  If it was born a girl and no longer chooses to BE a girl, it doesn't automatically become a boy.  I don't care if you sew on a cock and feed it hormones.  It's still just It.

Does this sound harsh?  Well it is, but it's how I feel.  Look, you are not a guy. You are pregnant.  You have a uterus. You are a WOMAN.  But if I hear ONE MORE MEDIA OUTLET call it a man, I am going to scream.  This is NOT the case of a man getting pregnant.  It is the case of a girl who likes to PRETEND it is a guy.

What is this world coming to??????

One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest...

I used to get a flu shot at my last job, when they were free.  I was there for five years and I think I got the flu three out of the five years.  So I dunno - I don't think I am gonna get a flu shot this year.  What good does it really do?  There's so many strains now, it doesn't even make a difference.

Plus sharing the subway with the animals that are on that bacteria-laden tube...it will be a miracle if the ONLY thing I get is the flu.  Yuck.

Paul Newman...

Being 35, the only thing about Paul Newman that I knew is that he was in that pool movie with Tom Cruise and that, inexplicably, later in in life, he decided to make salsa and pasta sauce.

Well there's a great story in this month's Men's Journal about Paul Newman.  You should check it out.

A Taxing Situation for Obama...

He said it over and over again throughout his campaign and reiterated it again [on Monday]: President Elect Barack Hussein Obama plans to raise the top tax bracket – the “ultra rich” – in order to redistribute the wealth. Yep, if you make more than $250,000 a year, congratulations: you’re rich? Don’t feel rich? Join the club.

This year when people were getting their $600 stimulus checks, I got an adjusted check for just over ten bucks. It seems that I am too “wealthy” to get a check. And where most of those who received their “rebate” (read: handout) used it to pay down debt, people like me would have actually SPENT it and put it into the marketplace. My ass would have went down to the John Varvatos store on Bowery and bought a pair of shoes, jeans and a shirt. Bye-bye $600. It’s that easy.

But no, if you made more than $75,000 there was no rebate for you. So before you even get excited about Obama’s “95 percent of workers will get a tax cut” bullshit, consider this: in some of his first comments on how to jumpstart the economy, Obama talked about money for welfare, extending unemployment benefits and bailing out the auto industry. He also talked about his pledge to let the “Bush tax cuts” expire in 2010. He is then going to lift the top income bracket to nearly 40 percent AND increase capital gains tax.

Bad idea. Let me tell you why…

Wealthy people can feel taxes too. I don’t care if you make $200,000 or $2,000,000, you will feel that hit. Do you think that these people are going to say “Oh, well. What can you do?” No. Traditionally, and even more so today, this is what will happen if the rich get taxed like never before.

They will spend less on goods and services. The new car will have to wait; ditto for these home improvements. They also might lay off some staff. Yes, it’s belt tightening time. Think this doesn’t affect you? If the everyday person starts to watch spending, you won’t see a blip. If the RICH start to spend less, you WILL see it. It affects everything from retail sales to consumer confidence. That’s bad news for the economy as a whole.  I mean, the government spent about a trillion dollars on "stimulus" packages - i.e. trying to GIVE people money to spend.  Why then would you take away money from those that actually SPEND it on goods and services?

They give less to charity. Yep, that’s right. In times of economic upheaval, the rich will put the brakes on charitable giving.   So charities will also feel the brunt.

They spend less on luxury goods.  Yeah, you're saying "what do I care?" right?  Well someone has to make fancy tennis racquets and watches and clothes. Less companies manufacturing goods means slower growth. 

They will delay new home purchases.  HELLO!?!?  The WHOLE REASON we are in this mess is because Bill Clinton and the Democrats decided that minorities deserved to be home owners, whether they could afford it or not.  Yeah, thanks Bill.  But the more and more people delay home purchases the worse this crisis is going to get.  And guess what wealthy - truly wealthy - people LOVE to do?  BUY HOUSES!  Tax them at 40 percent and guess what they will do?

They will play it conservative in the stock market.  Just when you need some stability in the stock market, you're going to raise capital gains taxes?   Great idea.  In turn, the wealthy will put their money into safer investments: T-bills, gold...not exactly the prescription for growth, is it?

Since Obama got elected thanks to these blue collar dullards in places like Ohio and Wisconsin, he needs to start creating manufacturing jobs.  First, that is NOT where you want to see growth.  You want to encourage children to excel in math, sciences.  But if you concern yourself with the WRONG KIND of job creation, you'll have a whole bunch of goods and no one to buy them!

And finally...

Windfall tax on oil companies.  Worst idea ever.  Companies exist for one reason: to MAKE MONEY and benefit shareholders.  That's it.  Here you have someone - um, a PRESIDENT, wanting to TAX an industry because it is doing what it SHOULD DO - MAKE MONEY!!! Duh!  And if you think that those unions that the Dems love so much are going to benefit from tactics like this...then the unions should check and see what COMPANIES their pension funds are invested in....want to bet you'll see ExxonMobil there?  BP?  Shell?

So go ahead, Obama - tax the rich.  Let's see where we are a few years from now.

Incommunicado

Boy I have been delinquent as of late. But don't worry - I have a real f'ing life, people.

Had a great time on Saturday with some friends from HIGH SCHOOL. Some vastly different, some sadly (or happily, depending on how you look at it) the same.

Way too much was consumed and it's been a good decade that I've been three sheets to the wind like that...so Sunday was a re-coup day.

My girlfriend Yvonne made me TOTALLY realize what Eric Clapton was talking about in Wonderful Tonight...

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head/
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed/
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light/
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.

I am one lucky guy, let me tell you.

Anyway, more later this week on Obama's early jump on trying to turn the U.S. into a welfare state.

One Hussein is brought down, and another comes into power...

Unfortunately Obama's the President for the next four years. I think Barack Hussein Obama is going to be the penultimate President!

If you like Hillary, you’re hoping for some big flops that she can seize on, but they would have to be HUGE. Not looking good for her.

The real losers: the wealthy. But wait, before you say “I’m not wealthy” you better ask yourself: what does OBAMA consider wealthy? Guess what, in his eyes, you probably are.

Tax increases are coming. He can’t do what he says he’ll do AND give a tax cut to “95% of workers.” Impossible. Taxes from the .28 bracket and up will go up.

It’s up to the Democrats now. They have the president and an overwhelming majority in the senate (lowest rated senate in history). Let’s see what they do.

In the good news, Newt Gingrich is going to be the next president of the RNC. Good. We need him to get us on course. McCain didn’t want to play the Wright/Rezko/Khalidi/Ayres (Jesus, how many racists, anti-semites, corrupt doners and terrorists can this guy associate with?!?!)

Another BIG loser. Israel. Why do you think the LA Times didn’t release the tape of Obama at the farewell party for Rashid Khalidi? Maybe because he applauded while Khalidi talked about big, bad Israel and how the Palestinians need to step up their “Intifada.” Israel is going to hear three words from an American president that he has not heard in 20 years: restraint, unlawful and stop. i.e. The U.S. demands that Israel shows immediate restraint in it’s unlawful actions. Vicious attacks against Palestinians must stop.

It’s going to be a long four years.

First Day on "The Pill"

So took my first Provigil today.  Wow, lots of energy and focused like you wouldn't believe.  Got tons of work done and we stopped early for a Halloween party!  Good stuff but just a stop gap.

The Smart Pill

So I read this article in Men's Journal about this drug Provigil, made from the compound Modafinil.  It's prescribed for Shift Work Sleep Disorder, Narcolepsy and Sleep Apnea, which I have.  It is supposed to make you alert but not jumpy; matter of fact, the MJ article claims that 200mg can actually have positive cognitive effects.  (Read: supposedly it makes you smarter.)  The Navy gives its pilots Provigil to its pilots as a "Go Pill" to keep them sharp.

Now I don't know about that, but I could use some energy.  I am dragging by 3pm.  I am not getting restful sleep. So I saw a doctor and asked him about it and he gave me a script.

I'll let you guys know what happens...

Arabs, Lies and Videotape

So here we are again.  

Barack Obama is caught praising a controversial figure and the liberal media is giving him a pass.  Heck, this time the L.A. Times is covering for him.

So Barack Obama is at a retirement bash for Palestinian "activist" and so-called "scholar" Rashid Khalidi.  (What did he teach, Bomb Making 101 and Israeli Extermination 200?)  So Obama and the first fist bumper (Michelle) attend this event while Khalidi speaks of exterminating the Zionist movement.  Oh yeah, and Bill Ayres (Mr/ Weather Underground and the guy Obama said that he would see occasionally in the 'hood) was there too.  Terrorists stick together, you know.

Long story short.  L.A. Times holding the tape; won't show it.  Claiming they can't leave their source out to dry.  Mmmm hmmm.  Riiiiight.

$200 for your guns!

A Harlem, NY church is once again running a program aimed at "getting guns off the street."  It works like this: you bring a gun to the church, they give you $200.  No questions asked.

Hmmm.  Great idea.

What they accomplished was giving criminals (yep, criminals) $200 for a gun that's worth $50.  Hey, maybe they can put that $200 towards the gun they REALLY want.  

Good idea, reverend.  Why not send them off with a vial of crack, too?  Ohhh there's an idea.  Have them bring in their drugs and give them $200 for them?  Why limit this idea to just guns?  Kiddie porn!  Explosives!

Come on. 

We're heading into 2009...

...and Wal-Mart introduces layaway.

Yep, that's right.  Layaway as in layaway from the 1950s.  Layaway as in pay for an item a little at a time, and when you pay enough, you get the item.

Apparently, things are so bad now that, as we head into 2009, we're reverting back to layaway.  They're running ads on it as I type this little missive.  I expect to see ads next for avocado-colored rotary phones and boxes of Calgon (Calgon, take me awayyyyyy!!).

Give me a break.  I know that people that shop at Wal-Mart see this as a benefit.  But to the rest of us?  Panic.  And now is not the time to appear as though we're panicking.  Now is the time to project confidence in the SPIRIT of the American people.  The PASSION of people who doggedly pursue their piece of the American dream.

Look, not to politicize this post, but it is clear that there's a candidate that wants to re-instill passion in the American people.  Give them confidence to be bold.  There are some qualities that I really respect in people.  Strength. Accountability. Passion. 

In Barack Obama's world, there are two kinds of people: the poor and those who need to take care of the poor.  I am sure Obama thinks bringing layaway back is a pretty good idea.  I think that he wants to bring programs like layaway back from the dead.  You see, Obama does not want people to have wealth.  He wants everything to be equitable.  It's why he thinks $250k is rich and why we should raise capital gains taxes, raise YOUR taxes.

Aye...I think I am all over the place with this post.  My point is let's not go back to the 50s to get programs to fix today's problems.  Look, the stock market is cyclical.  There's nothing you can do to stop these problems from happening.

There's ways of making sure the subprime mortgage crisis never happens again.  And one way is to NOT PUT DEMOCRATS in charge.  Clinton's policies of loosening regulations and standards so minorities and poor people could buy houses was an AWFUL decision.  Cost close to two trillion dollars.

So I guess my point is, why do it again by electing Obama?  Because if you're not poor, you won't benefit under an Obama presidency and a congress with the lowest approval rating in history.

But hey, that's just me.

This is The Word of Roland.

Motley Crue: The Original Misogynists

Can we agree that Motley Crue were the original misogynists?

10 Seconds to Love

Bring a girlfriend; maybe bring two/

I got my camera, make a star outta you/

Let's inject it/

Photograph it/

Go down to the subway/

Let the younger boys have it

Back in the 80's we only had the PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center, for you young 'uns). We didn't have NOW or any of those other groups that tried to skewer Eminem or today's rappers.

Is it too brash to infer that the Crue paved the way for these guys?  Even with 2LiveCrew or any of those punks. Granted this was never released as a single but damn, listening to it now, them's some craaaaazy lyrics!

Gay Marriage

I have no problems with gay marriage.  Seriously, if a gay man and a gay woman want to get married, what's the big deal?

In all seriousness...someone asked me today why I am against gay marriage.  It's got nothing to do with the Catholic Church.  If two people want to be together, be together.  But I don't know why I have to pay for it. 

Yes, that's right.

We pay for the clerks at City Hall.  We end up paying for insurance benefits as more people start claiming children and dependents.  We pay.

Come to think of it, the only group that stands to benefit from the legalization of gay marriage is LAWYERS.  You think that the 50% of all marriages end in divorce figure is for traditional couples only?

Someone asked me if I have something against gay people.  Well yeah, I do.  My neighbors were two ugly, fat lesbians.  TOTALLY ruined the girl-girl fantasy for me.  So in a way, yes, I am a bit biased.

A guy that I was discussing this with - OK arguing with - said, "What's the big deal?  It's just a piece of paper!"

Exactly.

It's awesome being right.

Why I created this blog...

I am a giver.  It's true.  I like to share.  Too many times, brilliant things come to my mind.  But by the time I get to work, go though a day KICKING ASS in the PR world, the moment is gone.

No more.

This will serve as a place for me to rant and riff and share thoughts that come to my mind.  Random things.  Like, when you get something in the mail that says "Do Not Bend!" what's the first thing you do?  Bend it, right?  

I am mostly id, part ego, and completely unfiltered.  That part of the brain that says, "hmmm maybe I shouldn't say that" - yeah I wasn't given that part.  Actually, if I am at work or with a client, then yes - I am more reserved and professional.  But if you've ever been around me, you know that sooner or later I'll say the thing that will make you love me or want to punch me in the face.

That's me.  

This is the Word of Roland.

Busted Hymen Post

Yep, this is the first post.